
Ya see, about 3 days after Halloween, the pumpkins start disappearing from the entryways and start appearing in the trash. This is when I make my move.
Armed with nothing more than my giant IKEA bag (which will hold a toddler or a developing nation, take your pick), and a knowledge of the grazing areas of this giant vegetable, this intrepid explorer sets off in search of her prey.
As they browse for a chance to join their friends milling about near the refuge of the refuse containers, I strike – draping the IKEA bag over the chosen pumpkin and trapping it in place. Although my squash(ed) prey struggles, rolling about in the bag as I carry it home, its conversion to a mashed, fried and baked state is all but assured.
For the next month I will hunt the pumpkin herd as it moves thru the neighborhood, drying and canning the nutritious vegetable as it moves thru the city in seach of a garbage dump to call home.